soul speak.

At precisely nine minutes past nine at night on a blustery November Eve I have decided to end my rather random albeit unplanned blogging sabbatical. Since we last spoke my job has taken up a whole lot of my life. Which is good in some ways. My career is progressing in ways I never imagined it would. I am working in the same shop and in the same job since I was seventeen years old. Other than merely existing this is the longest thing I have ever stuck at. I had many a hobby as a child which I begged and pleaded my mum that I promised I'd stick at forever (insert piano, saxophone and expensive exercise classes, still sorry about that one mum!!) if you had asked me when I first started as the Saturday girl do you see yourself here in four years time as the manager I would have said no faster than you can say pumpernickel ( it's a German bread I know it doesn't make sense with what I was saying right there.. But it's just fun to say yknow). 

The problem with life, not that I've cracked the code on the meaning of it all, give me time I'm only one gal, it's very easy to get comfy somewhere or complacent. Whether that be a job or a relationship it's hard to change for a lot of people and do something brand new and different. Like I was saying it may look good on my cv, I may be the youngest manager on my area at just a foetal age of 21 but my soul isn't being stretched and that's what's most important. I am not happy. On the outside I am all smiles, sun shines and rainbows but my heart and soul yearn for an adventure a crazy fun filled life that I can look back on in years and think 'yeah I used to be awesome'. There isn't an inch on this beautiful earth that I don't want my toes to touch. I want to see the Grand Canyon and immerse myself in the hysteria of a night in Vegas. I want to gasp at the enormity of Everest and feel like the size of a grain of sand in the middle of the universe. I want to spend more time with my family and have more memories with them. There have been many occasions where I have worked 7 days a week in a job I don't love with all my heart and I have cried at the hours I have dedicated to that cause. The hours I could have spent cooking a delightful dinner for my mum because she goes to the end of the earth for me. Going for a country walk with my dad because that's when I see him most at peace. Or even going out for a leisurely lunch with my sister it doesn't have to be an expensive meal or even just so long as it can be cherished or even instagrammed! 

The facade is slipping and even though it'll all may look good on paper and the money coming in is good if it keeps eating away at my happiness like this it truly isn't worth it. 

I wish my first post back on here after many many months was a lot cheerier! I'll try better next time! 

All my love, a X 

BACK WITH A VENGEANCE.

Hi.. You might remember me I used to go here?? It's been a while, a very long while I know. I've been umming and ahhing over whether to write about my break away and for ages I didn't really want to. However now I want to, I miss you all and I miss this and I feel I can't just pick back up where I left off. I want to share aspects of my life with you and include that on my blog. I don't want people to think I'm after a pity party because trust me that is the last thing I am after.

On the eve of the 5th of December I had an incident with a male customer at work. He said some things to me in an incredibly rude, threatening, intimidating manner and I felt scared. As a shop worker things I deem unacceptable and as a human something I also deem highly unacceptable. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.  I was working on my own and I wasn't sure what was going to happen. Luckily for me a nice young man came to my aid as he heard what had just happened and he stayed with me until I felt a bit better and less shaky. About ten minutes later, after he left, the same horrible man tried to come back in as we were closing the door and closing up. Ever since then my anxiety has plummeted. I don't like big crowds, busy places or being left on my own.

I feel a lot stronger now compared to December. I went to London for a few days to celebrate my birthday at the end of last month with all my close friends and luckily my best friend Sam knew I was feeling super anxious so met me at Waterloo and stuck to me like superglue the whole time (<3). I feel bad I have neglected my little blog for so long, I missed it but I wasn't in the right headspace to write something happy and upbeat. I feel a lot happier now, I want to do things that make me happy and put a big old smile on my face. It made me put things in perspective about life, family and my career. I've decided I'm going to throw myself back into blogging, I want to learn how to cook or bake a few decent dishes seeing as all I can do at the moment is ready meals, burnt toast, a smoothie bowl and a sponge cake. Not quite a balanced diet! I'm also doing an online beauty course so I'll keep you updated on how that goes. I want to diet and shape up and have a face and body i'm happy and proud of.

I promise I won't leave it as long this time. Speak soon my loves. A. x

I'm a hopeless romantic and an even worse blogger!

Hello you might remember me, my name is Abbie or you may remember me by my alias Kittens in Top Hats or even as the elusive A written at the bottom of a post. I used to be one of those people that would blog their every move and Instagram their every breakfast plate (yeah, I was one of those types). But unfortunately life did that complicated thing of getting in the way.

I take my hat off to every single one of you hard workers that complete a day of work, uni, school, full time parenting and carry on blogging/vlogging. Because this can be a full time job in itself?! Not excusing what I have done because I love my little blog and I love every single one of you but my workload seems to be never ending especially over the last few months and there is only so much a person can take.

I've been working an awful lot and have been carrying the load a manager should but without the managers pay packet at the end of each month. I've had a lot of ups and downs within my family life  and social life as well but thankfully that has all come out on top and is the only thing pulling me through right now.

My health and my confidence has taken a real knock of late and I know I'm not the person I want to be or use to be of that matter either. When faced with a crossroads I feel like someone ran off with the map and I'm left stood there with no idea which way to turn or what to do with the best. If I've learnt anything over the last couple of months it's the following:

1) Mum tends to know best however it's best not to let her in on that fact.
2) Trust your gut.
3) Gingerbread Lattes are fantastic.

Don't think of this post as one of those 'woe is me' pity parties because I just wanted to babble all these feelings i've had crammed in my head and truth be told, I miss you all and I miss this space.

Hopefully next time won't be so far away, much love always. A. x

Ladies who lunch

At the end of September my mum, sister and I went out for a fancy lunch at a boutique hotel on the dorset coast in Christchurch. 

It was glorious weather, the sun was shining and my glass was filled with the most luscious gin and tonic known to man. So smooth I could have drunk it all hours of the day. 

I'm a big fan of anywhere that has a special bar just for Moët and Chandon champagne. I felt like it was a day in the life of kim Kardashian. 

For starters I had a gigantic yet gorgeous cheese soufflé. 

It may not be the most aesthetically pleasing but it tasted like a creamy, cheesy cloud. It just melted on your tongue it was so good. 

Followed by roasted hake, triple cooked chips, steamed cherry tomatoes, watercress and a green peppercorn sauce. So so delicious! 

Dessert was dark chocolate brownie with a poached pear and pistachio cream. Death my chocolate indeed! 

A very ombré latte. It was too pretty to stir.

Petit fours finished off a perfect lunch. 💖 

All my love, a. X

Hair ideas

I've had a blonde ombré hairstyle for almost a year now and as much fun I've had going blonde. At first I thought it was just a silly saying but I've honestly had such a confidence boost since doing it. I feel better, look better and it's made my skin look so much more tanned and radiant because I'm quite pale dark hair completely washes me out!! 

So for eases sake I've decided to dye my hair darker again. Not only because it's such a pain with my roots regrowth but also it looks so much less brassy in the winter months too.  

 

This is what it was like when I redyed it again about two months ago. 

Even though it's been a recent dye job I can't help but feel a bit bored by the colour already. I know it sounds bad but I get quite bored by styles quite easily! So I've found some inspiration from Pinterest on some new looks I quite like and would love to know your thoughts! 

I'm thinking of going a chocolatey brown colour with lighter brown and caramel highlights. 

I love Chrissy Teigen. Her hair looks so voluminous and bouncy here. I love the natural highlights pulled through. 

Out of all the styles I think I love this one the most. I love the lighter bits pulled through. 

This style is slightly darker and I'm not sure whether it'll wash me out. It's been so long since I've been a proper brunette! 

This one is a bit more ombré than the rest. I don't think I could for a full colour. Some highlights would definitely lift the dark. 

One thing I've noticed is that I definitely love Jessica Alba and her hair! 

What do you think? What is your favourite? 

Lots of love. A. x

DEGUSTA BOX

Hi!! I recieved another Degusta box and I think that this one may be my favourite yet! 

As you may know by now I am completely mad on packaging and I love the cute box this comes in. 

The produce is tissue wrapped and had a green sticker keeping it in place saying 'open me, eat me...try me'. I love little touches like this. 

Look at all these yummy goodies inside. I have a massive sweet tooth so just one quick glance I was already drooling!

Look at my delicious loot! I can't quite to delve into this. 

First things I picked out were these two alcoholic ciders. They are 4.5% alcohol volume. One of them is an apple cider an the other is pear which tends to be a bit sweeter. I can't wait to try. 

I got two packets of 3 Reese's peanut butter cups which are my FAVOURITE things ever! Such a guilty pleasure. If you've never tried (you don't know what you're missing) but think, a creamy peanut butter consistency in the middle encased in milk chocolate. So indulgent. I think I may use these to make some cupcakes or something similar. 

From a brand which I haven't before heard of Kents Kitchen I recieved a pot of Posh Noodles in spicy Szechuan. It's only 242 calories and perfect for a work lunch. All you need to do is pour in some boiling water, leave it for about two minutes, give it a stir and you're reading to gobble it up! 

This was from a company called Mallow and Marsh and I got a mini box of three raspberry marshmallows. I must admit these were actually eaten on the same night I opened this, they were that good. Less like a conventional marshmallow this was like a hybrid with nougat. It was airy, yet had a chewy element to it. The raspberry flavour was really nice too, it wasn't too strong which I liked but you could definitely taste it too. 

Wine gums remind me of either a) being a child and munching through a pack hoping for a black or red one. Or b) that old charlieissocoollike video on YouTube where he eats his way through about ten packets of wine gums. I was very happy to see this bag are all black and red ones aka everyone's favourites! I think I may keep this stash in my car. 

Jelly Babies are a firm favourite in my household so I'm sure these will go down a treat. Similar to the wine gums the black and red jelly babies also happen to be my favourites too. 

I got these Compete energy bites in mocha flavour. I've been thinking of getting back into running and my fitness again so this would be a perfect quick energy boost. 

 

Inside, they look like this. You can snap off a square so you can throw it in your handbag or gym bag. Each square contains 135mg of caffeine. 

I got this bottle of Sweet Sally of spiced tea. This sounds so interesting, I've never tried anything like this. I'm not entirely sure whether you can drink it just how it is or whether you can warm it up. It contains a mix of different flavours and spices so I think it would be quite warming in the winter. 

I got these two cartons of Up and Go breakfast drinks in vanilla or chocolate flavour. They are high fibre and high protein plus, like the name says, it's great for when you're up and on the go. Just shake it up and drink. 

I also got this The Olive Shop extra virgin olive oil. It came in such a nice bottle. It feels like very thick glass, which naturally I felt looked more high price (It does retail at £5) and the olive oil is sourced from Italy. 

I can't wait to try out the rest of these fab products! Hopefully I'll be able to update you with recipe posts that I've used these in. 

All my love, a. x

My biscuiteers biscuit

Hello you beautiful little cinnamon swirls! I got sent a lovely package from the wonderful people at Biscuiteers. If you haven't heard of them (where have you been?!) they are a company with the best mission statement in my opinion "why send followers when you can send biscuits instead?" I agree! Nothing says I miss you or congratulations or just hello like a parcel of gorgeous biccys! 

First off. Let's appreciate the cutest packaging ever. I am a complete sucker for stuff like this and this won me over straightaway!  

 

Pulling back the lid was a piece of fuschia pink tissue paper held in place by a white sticker. The sticker has a rolling pin on it with Biscuiteers written on it in white writing. I love these small touches. 

OHMYGODDDD

look how yummy this looks! A perfect unicorn biscuit finished off with the sleekest rainbow mane. This biscuit is more beautiful and perfect than me. And to top it off too it tasted amazing! The biscuit wasn't too soft and wasn't too hard, in the words of Goldilocks it was just right. 

I would definitely order something off of the Biscuiteers website in the future. I think it would be a perfect gift for any occasion or even just for a little treat for yourself! 

All my love, A. X